I’ve been loving you this past year, tho I never said it louder enough. I love you for the hardness you’ve brought. I love you in every problems you’ve had. I love you still even when the meteors rained on us. I love you, slowly, all at once, without a caution and suddenly I’m down on a rabbit hole. And then I love you, even when we said our goodbyes many times before.
Letting you go was the hardest only-choice. Letting you go has taught me patience, acceptance. That letting you go, doesn’t mean I have to lose all my feelings for you in that second. That letting you go means I have to walk away with all my feelings for you inside and carry on until I don’t know when and put it on the rest.
I still looking at your eyes and see the reflection of my passion I’ve buried for you. I’m looking at your eyes and I see both my friend and lover on the same pair of eyes I’ve fallen for on July 2018 ago.
I’m too tired to think why it has to be this complicated, why it’s never been easy with you from the start. It’s getting close to the day I’m leaving, and I’ll leave both of my broken pieces and the amends. And the thought of finally leaving you for good, physically and emotionally is like riding a Hysteria on Dufan. Thrilling, exciting when you’re on your way up and drop dead when it brings you down. And when the ride is ended, I know that I have to leave eventually.
Leaving on a plane on a different directions, hundred miles on the same skies, the thought of never seeing you and never be with you physically haunts me even until I step on the ground of my home. Wondering and questioning, what if it never go away?
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